Haven't written anything for abit, been bogged down with work and well nothing intelligent has actually passed through the hollow pit between my ears in recent days. But today is different. It's a Monday the dawn of a new week and hopefully a much less stressful week then the last.
'If it's meant to, it's meant to be'
Ok my friend, let's call him Mr. Z, told me that. This guy likes a girl but he doesn't want to do anything about it. He asked me for my advice and I told him to go for her, charm her and do your best to win her heart over. Bascially be there for her and do all the small little things that will really touch her and show her you really do love her. He on the other hand had reached the conclusion that he shall do nothing different since they are already good friends and if its meant to be it will happen naturally. Ok wait I wonder why he asked for my advice when he had already concluded what to do. Come to think of it maybe he didn't even ask for it I may have just given him my 2 cents worth.
Well I have heard this advice many times actually it's one of me daddy's favorite lines. His is abit more exaggerated (Indian la cant help it must always make things more colourful), 'Son in life sometimes things are beyond our control they are in the hands of God, so if they are meant to be they are meant to be'. I don't know why but I have always seen this as a very defeatist attitude, no offence to anyone but its my personal opinion. I find it hard to accept that in our very own lives there are things beyond our control. Makes me feel very unimportant and insignificant. I am not even able to control the my own life.
Well people opinions. Is it true in life that if its meant to be its meant to be there is nothing much we can do about it?
Maturity
As we turn 21, one by one, we take our final step out of childhood and into adulthood. In modern times turning 21 isn't as big a deal as it used to be. Yeah we all will have the big parties and all night drinking sessions but essentially there will be little change in our lives.
Well maybe we should consider that turning 21 may entail additional responsibilities. What we say and what we do have consequences and we no longer have the convenient excuses of immaturity....
Protect
"I want to protect you from everything that isn't beautiful in this world, but who's going to protect you from me"
Fights, fights and more fights
Just woke up from a night at zouk. Man was it a weird night. Firstly it was so crowded there was even a queue for members. Haha how often you see that eh. Anyway the club was packed to the rafters and there was a guy to girl ratio of 10:1. So logic would say then that the guys would just try to make the best out of a bad situation and hang out with their buddies, drink and dance the night away. No no that can't happen right, cause we all know which head guys use to think, especially when they have blown all their hang bao money on booze eh.
So here's a little snippet into the idiosyncrasies of guys in the club. Ok by the time I went to phuture it was around 1230, most of the girls there by then had hooked up. But considering the ratio there were alot of lonely guys. Then new waves of girls came in. I swear there was literally crowds of guys following them. I could understand that if the girls looked like shu qi, nicole kidman oh and my latest favorite jojo (ok I am a pedophilia at heart haha). No they are just your average janes and some even below average. Anyway blah blah blah and then they all start fighting, the guys that is, over what ever remnants of the female species there was. Guess what their genius actions lead to, all the girls leaving. So I decided I shall head over to members where some of the guys were and plus I assume it be safer. On my was to members I witnessed another 2 fights along the zouk corridors. So finally I make my way to members in one piece. Meet up with gavin & co and enjoy a glass of wine. Then I turn my back for a second to talk to a friend and next thing I know I am being pushed against the wall and someone broke a wine glass at my feet. Another damn fight. Oh babe hope your nose is all cleared up eh? Haha.
Here's what I have to say now. Guys there is no harm in wanting to hook up with chicks at clubs none what so ever, actually I encourage it. But as PCK would say, 'Use your blain, use your blain'. Come on you see that the odds of you finding an available chick is as good as you striking the CNY toto maybe its time to change your modus operandi? Maybe you should focus more on some good ol' fashion male bonding. Some beer, some drinking games and some damn cheesy mambo dance moves. Then if you happen to find some chicks well and good if not nevermind. No expectations no disappointment.
Oh and the next time any of you idiots decide to fight you better not spill my wine. Never ever waste good alcohol idiots never ever.
Miss You
I have never felt closer to anyone before
And yet now you seem so distant
Just a fleeting memory washed along in a sea of emotions
The days we walked hand in hand
The gentle touch of your fingers
The sweet smile which dissolved all my cares
You were so special to me
We promised that we will never leave each other
And yet fate dealt us such a painful blow
Now you are not much more than a memory
One that I will cherish forever
But still a memory and nothing more than a damn memory
I miss you.....
When I looked back at the times we had I wonder what is it I really miss. I miss you I miss the time we spent together, the laughter, the tears, the late nights cuddled up watching the stars, the busy evenings rushing around. All this I miss but most importantly I miss the companionship. The friend, the lover, the confidant. I know you have moved on and I on some levels have. I hope someday I will find someone as special as you. It's going to be hard but oh god please help me.
You will always have a special place in my heart my dear. A place reserved for a special person, reserved for the person who can make me laugh and cry, for the one who showed me how infinite my love actually is, a place for my first love.
Cherish
Something struck me whilst I was watching TV just now. I was watching the week in review and during the show they interviewed some Iraqis on the elections this week. There was this old man who displayed a honest and some what child-like joy at the elections which in his words, 'were a new beginning for our country'. In Singapore we have been fortunate to have had democratic elections for many decades yet not many of us, well practically none of us are actually excited or even grateful for the chance to vote. Yes this may not be a very good example considering the stifling political environment in Singapore, but the point I am trying to make is that we have come to see elections as a right and not a privilege anymore. This is something which relates very well to human relations. We tend ever so often to take those closest to us for granted. We see their forgiveness, their understanding as a right and not a privilege, a blessing.
Sometime ago I had a quarrel with a friend, she was really upset over the way I was treating my best friend. She had no problem with the way I was treating her actually she did tell me I treated her kinda well. Rather she felt that I was taking advantage of my best friend's kindness. Off course in the heat of the moment I denied everything. I told her it was unfair of her to jump to conclusions and make judgments about my character without realizing my relationship with my best friend. It is still true that there have been many instances that my best friend has done things which have angered and I have done my share of things which I aint too proud of either but none the less he has always been there for me. But in hindsight I have realized that she was right I was abusing his kindness. I knew we were close and I knew that he would forgive me, our friendship was worth more than all my little idiotic actions right?
Well to the both of you'll I am sorry. I guess what you saw wasn't that far from the truth and I guess I could have reacted in a much better way. Well and to me best friend sorry I have taken you for granted at times, at the expense of sounding gay, you have been there for me when I most needed a friend and thanks.
This is just one of many examples I guess in my life. There have been those who cared for me, even loved me and what did I do them? I hurt them and badly at that. I am sorry for what I have done to those of you'll. I guess with hindsight all these experiences have shaped me into the person I am now. I know I will make the same mistakes again I just hope that they will become less frequent with time and hopefully stop altogether.
